Nick Maggiulli’s thought provoking post on how focusing to maximise optionality is actually a trade-off with your future self. He shares his own personal example.
I got married at 35 and I just had my first child at 36. Because I will have children slightly later than some of my peers, I wasn’t as committed in my 20s and early 30s. While that was fun at the time, my non-commitment means that I’ll have less time with my grandchildren in the future. All else equal, I traded off a few years with my grandchildren for a few extra years of being single. I’m not here to judge this decision, but it’s the kind of tradeoff that is overlooked by the “maximize optionality” crowd. These influencers are happy to tell you about the freedom you get from not committing, but they don’t tell you what you give up for that freedom. Because what you give up only becomes apparent at the end of your life. Every year you spend with options is another year you don’t spend on the thing you eventually commit to.This is true of your future career, your future spouse, and in every other part of your life. Of course, options are essential when you have no idea what you like. But once you know, the benefits of optionality begin to decline. But the real reason why I think more people should commit to something is that studies show that the act of commitmentmakes you happier.